2021 - Its been 10 years

 God pays attention to even the little things.  I ended the day yesterday feeling like I had a good break. Resolved what I needed to do regarding my relationship with dad. Just had to choose to accept that he is what he is and choose to love him regardless.  Also got a number for the pay I want. Still unsure about the job I want but I want to work for a MNC again. No more SMEs.  Also had a visual of the kind of guy I want despite what Terence says. I don’t want him cos he is taken. But I want someone like him. Physically - face, height, other physical parts; financially; mentally - communicates/talks bout things and is able to see the good in my weaknesses.  I also had a visual of the house I want. Even had a plan/direction for my finances now.  On top of that, had two desires fulfilled. The coffee machine and swimming. Even felt like the stress on my neck has been healed.  Then I wake up today and I felt the pain in my back seemed to have deteriorated...

 Once again I had a shouting match with mom today. Again she played victim. Again she played out her victim conversation in her mind even though that’s not what happened.  I will record our conversation the next time. So there’s no he say she say.  And I am now very sure she is not just a garden sinner but a wicked person.  She has her own excuses for saying what she says and behaving how she behaves.  I refuse to react to her anymore.  I also would like to move out. I’m just sick and tired of having to deal with them. I can renovate the house later when they pass away. I want my own space to do my own things. So I can keep it clean and be happy it is clean. I’m sick and tired of living in a pig sty. I want to move out and rent out the current room.  Mom can deal with the tenants regarding how dirty or clean the place is to be. I will get whatever space I need in the fridge and not get annoyed with all the plastic bags I see.  Enough is enough. No...

1 day ago, I posted in our Cg chatgroup some prayer requests. And Helen replied with the following.  Praise God for CG. It’s their love, their reminder, pointing me back to Jesus that gives me the courage to continue living and believing   God sees everything you’re going through. “The eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love” (Psalm 33:18 NIV).  God cares about everything you’re going through. “But I will watch for the LORD; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me” (Micah 7:7 GNT).  God has the power to change what you’re going through. “Ask, and you will be given what you ask for. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7 TLB).  God always acts out of his goodness to you. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NIV).  God's plan is always better than...